Hello! And a warm, heartfelt, welcome! I want to deeply thank you for taking the time today to take up space with me. I am Anna Marie with Dragonfly Rose and I welcome you to my daily journal.
More times than not we find ourselves lost in the hustle bustle and emotions of the day. There are worries, anxieties, stresses, and more that plague our minds. Sit with me as I share some insights into my own inner world and the intuitive messages I receive that may also help you throughout your day and lives.
I want to start off by saying that this first episode will be more of an explanation of what my intentions are with this podcast. And to explain the processes I use on a daily basis to maintain a healthy state of being. This podcast is in every aspect a way to also keep me accountable for my self-care practices, as well as a way for me to share the insights I receive every day through my journaling process. Will there be an episode every day? Yes! This is my goal. Some episodes may be very short and others may take up more space in your day, but all will have deep insights and tools so you can connect deeply with the messages. A large part of my process also includes using tarot and oracle cards to help me better connect with the divine. I would also like to end each episode with a message for the collective. A message that the spirit wants the active listeners to hear.
It is my hope that these episodes will bring you a greater understanding of yourself and give you tools for your own journeys through this life. I, by no means, have it all figured out and I think this is the point. Sharing the raw vulnerable versions of myself is what will help me connect and help others, and myself, heal.
As a disclaimer, I am not a psychologist, counselor, coach, or any of the fields related. I am a wounded warrior that wants to take up some space and share my journey with you all. This will not be for everyone, and that is completely ok! But for those that would like to know ‘how I do it?’ this is the space for us all to grow and learn together. I am still, and will always be, learning myself.
This being said I think it is important that you know a bit of my back story. During my time on this planet, I have experienced many traumas that have scarred my mind and soul. And some that pushed me to the point to which I nearly broke and wanted to end it all. I am not going to go into deep detail here but all of these moments created scars that will never go away. In the background, my subconscious was operating from these scars.
As a child, I was not in control of what happened to me, but as an adult, I am in full control of my decisions. Mental scars are tricky and our subconscious gauges each encounter we have from these scars. Every choice I made, every partner I chose, and every word I said was from a wounded mental space. I truly did not like myself, I truly did not believe I deserved anything good in this world, and I truly believed I was not a good person. It wasn’t until I started doing spiritual work that I realized all these feelings were coming from either
a. someone else (my mother for instance)
b. from the wounded part of my psyche that thought it was normal and safe to live in a space of abuse.
I also saw that the underlying reasons why I react in the defensive and sometimes toxic ways that I do.
What scars do you have that are operating in the background?
I am a retired LMT and those who know about scar tissue on our physical bodies know that you MUST work the scar tissue daily to keep it soft to maintain function in the body without pain. The same is true for our minds. I often daydream about being able to ‘take a day off’ and just be ‘normal’. I understand there is no normal mind but, as my family would attest, it is very clear when I have not been doing my daily self-care practices. I don’t become abusive but I operate from a space of my ego and insecurities and they cause me to act in toxic ways. I would also like to state that I tend to catastrophize more on the days when I decide to skip out on my morning self-care practices.
So, what are these practices? There are many I have learned over the years but the two that I use almost every day are meditation through movement and something I like to call Interactive Journaling. I may touch some on the meditation during future episodes but it is more a tool I use to expend the energy I need to from my emotions so I can be in a space of inner, or mental, contemplation or quiet. When I am experiencing intense emotions or energy it is almost impossible to meditate and this is the way I am able to work through my thoughts in a constructive and healthy way. I will dance, walk, do yoga, or even clean the house! Any physical activities that will expel the energy so I can focus my mind on what the root of the issues are.
The method I use every day is interactive journaling. This starts as a mind, or emotion, dump. The traditional type of journaling if you will. But this is never enough for me, and this is where the interactive part comes in. Once I have emptied my mind and emotions onto the pages I start asking myself questions. Why am I feeling this way? As an example. I stay open to whatever response comes first when I am asking this. It is like a thought in your mind. It is usually the first thought that comes in so you have to pay attention. This is a way for our conscious minds to interact with our subconscious minds. Our Subconscious knows exactly why we are reacting and acting in the ways we are. It operates in the background guiding our every action and emotion. From there I tend to ask more clarifying questions. On really tough decisions or questions that I can’t seem to get a clear answer I turn to my tarot and oracle cards. With these, I connect to divinity, my ancestors, angels, and guides to help me see what is actually going on. And to see what I need to do. This starts my day off by creating a mental and emotional balance that I can use throughout my day to navigate through my subconscious flight or fight. Not everything is an attack or battle. This tool specifically helps me get through my day by helping me recognize what is a true threat and what is a defense from an old scar.
Now that I have explained a bit about my intentions and reasons behind this podcast, as well as my journaling technique, I want to preface by saying that I have decided to ‘start where I am’. What I mean here is that I am just going to begin the next episode with my journal writing as of the current time. I was contemplating going back and sharing insights from past journal days but felt I needed to start where I am.
I welcome you on this journey with me and invite you to be part of the discussions on my website at dragonflyrose.com under the forum tab in the menu. There is a topic called The Daily Journal and I encourage you all to share your own journals so we can grow and learn from each other!
Thank you for taking the time to be with me, and most importantly, yourself. I am looking forward to sharing my first journal entry tomorrow!