Good morning and welcome! I am Anna Marie with Dragonfly Rose and this is the Daily Journal. On my drive this morning I was reminded of how I felt when I was a little girl. I felt like I was supposed to carry all the sadness in the world and this feeling is still one that is with me today. I realized that I have been given the gift to see how others are suffering feels. I can empathize because I feel it. I have never worked with this gift and have always let it just take me over and I would own these feelings as if they were my own. As I realized this I felt a massive release, my body relaxed, and I was at complete and utter peace for a few brief moments. I connected to a song on my streaming list and I cried as I drove my daughter to camp. It was a crying of release, not sadness. It showed me a lesson that crying is not just for when we are sad but for any of our emotions.
Today while I journaled I was thinking about my relationships and how I could improve upon my role within them. Lately, I have felt distant, abrasive, and closed. When I operate from an empty cup I cannot give love in the ways that people become accustomed to. I feel like it makes them think I don’t love or care for them anymore, that I dislike their company. But as I dug deep into it I realized I am simply empty. There is a book I got for my daughter that talks about a Unicorn losing her sparkle and not being able to grant wishes. The little girl helps her by doing things with her that make her happy, the colors on her horn come back and she can continue to grant wishes. From a full and happy space. I need to take more quality time alone. A time when I am not worrying about what others are doing without me. When I do this worrying it creates un-needed anxiety and stress which in turn creates me to dump even more out of my cup.
The truth of relationships is that you can be together and be apart, each of you your own person, living your own lives with each other. It is a union, not a slave situation. We do not own each other, it is a relationship of 2 free individuals coming together, sharing their lives in mutual love, respect, and trust. I am not used to seeing these kinds of relationships. Every relationship I have had, including many platonic friendships, have been abusive or toxic. There has been this sense of ownership of each other. Caging each other into spaces and doing this only creates even more toxicity and abuse. As I learn this new way of being it can sometimes be painful, for myself and for those I love. I grew up seeing toxic relationships from every adult in my life, aside from a very small few. I know on a conscious level what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like but that act of having one still feels wrong and foreign. I clearly see this is because of my past. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, I suppose I am more a bringer of truths. That sounds much better. The truth is that these feelings will never go away, through work and self-care practices and facing truths they do get quieter but if you slip on your self-care they will get louder and louder. I am learning that these scars never truly leave but you can hug them, listen, and then say thank you but I am safe.
I did connect to my cards today to see what I needed to do and focus on. Today is a day of pause so I can focus on my learning and growth. A day to pause and make sure my words and actions are coming from a space of love and not ego. A day to figure out what I can do every day to fill my cup.
I also connected and asked what the listeners needed to hear and I pulled:
X of wands
High Priestess (R)
VII of Cups (R)
IV of Cups
I feel like you’re in this space where you have so many options before you that instead of listening to your intuition and choosing what feels right to you you’re carrying more than you need to. You’re having trouble focusing or choosing the ones that feel right because you are not trusting your own inner guidance and intuition. You must listen to that feeling in your gut because you are carrying too much and it will start to take its toll after a while. It has gotten to the point that you cannot see or even accept the gifts being offered because you won’t put something down. If something doesn’t feel good or gives you a knot in your stomach walk away from it, or drop it. You have limitless options before you; don’t be afraid to give up the ones that aren’t serving you. Remember that there is never a wrong choice, just a choice. Choose what feels right to you, not what feels right for everyone else. You are your first priority.
I hope that these messages that I received for myself and for us all have helped you step a little closer to being the complete and authentic you! I hope to be able to continue that discussion on my website dragonflyrose.com under the forum tab and in the discussion The Daily Journal. I encourage you to take the time to find the things that fill your cup and to take a pause today to focus on yourself. I thank you so much for taking up space with me today, I hope your day is filled with endless joys and discoveries. So much love to you, take care.